I turn 40 this week. (Congratulations? Condolences?)

And as with most milestone birthdays I've been doing some reflecting (on brand for me). Actually, I've been doing a lot.

But not the usual "who am I?" existential type of reflecting (been there, exhausted that), but a rather more practical and surprisingly unsettling reflecting: what should I be doing?

I'm not sure it's all just birthday related either ... it feels like everything is degrading simultaneously of late. Between the restructures, the AI-slop, the economy, the state of the world. The world getting scarier and sadder and more bewildering by the week, all wrapped up in relentless hype cycles and Instagram ads selling me shit I don't need.

Am I the only one who is finding it increasingly noisy?

In amongst all that, it is hard to know where to focus. What should I invest in? How can I build resilience into my finances, career, and future without accidentally going full-blown prepper (which honestly feels increasingly reasonable).

And if that wasn't enough to worry about, I've found a even stickier question that has been tripping me up: how can I help?

How can I help?

This might sound trite and earnest, but "helping" is at the very heart of my values. Although maybe it doesn't sound trite at all – I think a lot of us in this line of work share the "wired to be helpful" attribute. It's certainly why I like what I do

All I have ever wanted to do is help.

But am I helping? Or am I just adding to the noise?

I've taken the opportunity over the last (incredibly busy) few months pondering this question. Haven't been posting much on LinkedIn. Haven't written articles (wasn't sure what to write about to-be-honest). I've focused elsewhere, and inward.

I haven't figured it out yet.

But here's what I know to be true

Things aren't magically going to get better or more stable. The increase in corporate ruthlessness, the degradation of employee rights, the impact of disruption on our work and our organisations – will only continue. Even if what we're doing still works today, it doesn't feel like it'll work for long.

I think our collective conversations are too shallow for what's coming. AI slop has made this worse, but even before ChatGPT, most of the discourse was focused on basic bitch stuff like "here's how to structure a user story." Not the actually hard stuff. Not "the reason you can't get sign-off on your requirements is because there's complicated politics between your business stakeholder and the CTO, and that weird meeting happened because Janice is trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire." The real shit we face daily is messy and much harder to navigate, and we're not talking about it enough.

But perhaps most importantly, I love the writing. It is like a long drawn-out conversation with you. I love it even more when I hear back from you. But for the most part, the clatter of my keyboard is sufficient company as I pick my way through the words.

So, even though I haven't got an updated value-prop canvas, or an empathy map or any other documented answer on what I should focus on. Here I am. Pottering along.

Maybe it's helping. Maybe it's just noise. I'm not sure yet.

But maybe I'll just keep doing it anyway.

I mean doesn't someone need to talk about how Dave is trying to ruin your day with his bureaucracy and nonsense (and perhaps what to do about it)?

And I guess that is me.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this (or anything else), so do reply to this email, DM me on LinkedIn, or send me a letter via carrier pigeon. 

And until next time, stay excellent! 💖
Hannah