Hi everyone!

So I’ve been saying “no” a lot recently. Like, a lot, a lot.

I’ve learnt there are lots of different ways to say no.

1. No – classic, firm, direct. A delight to say.

2. Yeah, nah – casual, confusing to non-kiwis, but still oddly powerful and firm (a nostalgic favourite of mine).

3. Oh gawd no – recoil option, typically accompanied by a pained expression. Reserved for stupid ideas.

4. I’m not sure that’s the priority right now – a subtle warning that a no is just around the corner but I’m not there yet.

5. How about we don’t do that – entreating, but threatening with slight hints of judgement.

6. Hard pass – the hard-core no that doesn’t invite discussion, input, opinions, or feedback. The nuclear option.

It sort of comes with the territory – a month or two back I was asked to step into the product owner role on my programme. (side-note: I still consider myself an Outcomes Engineer, but this is what the org needs right now.)

And after years – yearssss – of advising people to say no to dumb wasteful ideas, of using all my influence to help people see which ideas are dumb and wasteful, I’m finally in a position where the “no” is simply mine to give. No caveats required.

Just: “no”.

And it is absolutely bloody delightful!

All those years of watching scope creep happen in slow motion, of seeing people say “I guess so” to everything, of advising restraint while someone else held the actual power to restrain... it's all built up into this pure, delightful ability to Just. Say. No.

I am freaking loving it. It is delightful! Wonderful! Splendid!

So of course it couldn’t last …

Hello reality my old friend …

The problem is that even with the fancy title and an established spot in the org chart, there are decisions that are appropriately – albeit frustratingly so – not mine to make. No matter what I’d like to pretend in my little house of “nos”, the big structure exists. Strategy exists. Politics exist. Some decisions live elsewhere.

So when something comes along that is very clearly outside my remit … it means: escalation time.

So there I go, back doing precisely what I’ve always done – what I’ve spent my whole career doing – packaging up a decision into something legible:

1. Here’s the situation.

2. Here are the key factors at play.

3. Here are the politics.

4. Here are the options – here’s what I’d recommend.

5. And here’s why.

I queue it up – frame the decision – and then send it up the flagpole. I’m back to being the trusted advisor. The analyst not the owner. The edge and not the node.

And here’s the very amusing thing about this all. As much as I like all the variations of no, I honestly think I might like this part more!

A lot of outcomes engineering is about decisions, yes. But most of decision making isn’t about the decision itself, it’s all the stuff that leads up to <someone> making a decision. And that bit takes thinking, framing, options analysis, and making all of that legible so a decision can actually be made.

The work of taking something messy and complex and making it clear enough that someone can actually decide: that's the good stuff. That’s what actually helps things move at all levels. That’s always required. The deciding might be icing but the thinking is the cake.

So while authority is nice and all, influence is where the game is at. Influence without authority isn’t a fallback position. It’s not what you do when you can't get the "real" power. It's a core competency. Maybe the core competency.

Because no matter what role you find yourself in, no matter what cloaks of authority you wear, there will always – always – be decisions that sit outside your remit. Saying no isn't the skill. It’s useful. Fun even. But knowing what to do when you can't – and knowing how to keep things moving – that's the real skill.

Though I'll admit—having the authority to say "ew david, no!" to genuinely terrible ideas?

Giving that up is going to be rough.

Real rough.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this (or anything else), so do reply to this email, DM me on LinkedIn, or send me a letter via pigeon. 

I cannot tell you how much I like hearing from y'all!

And until next time, stay excellent! 💖
Hannah